RUSTLING JIMMIES

My brain is busily organizing reality into a more palatable form.  Until it's finished, I'll just leave this here:

All you need to know about life, the universe, and everything.

<3 Tae

RUBY SOHO

"Pic de Rosu" by Anita Inverarity

When my mother was a little girl, her mother threw plates down the hall at her children and dumped out all their drawers when their socks weren’t matched up right.

When I was a little girl, my mother threw candles at me and had the quickest back-hand mouth-crack east of the Mississippi.

Now I’m old enough…hell, past old enough, to have had my first child.  I haven’t, due to my propensity for choosing boys over men, but there are still plenty of opportunities to discover that the maternal apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Yesterday, I stared coldly at a ten-year old girl while tears tracked down her face and dripped off her nose.  I mocked her and laughed as she screamed.  Her pain and anguish were my vindication and I reveled in them.  Hearing her shriek “Mommy” over and over was just the beginning. 

OH SNAP

You'll probably see Snap pop up pretty frequently.  She's pretty damn important to me, and a lot of the weirdness that I encounter gets filtered through her perspective.

I am one of the only people who can walk into Snap's house without calling or knocking.

Snap is one of the only people who can call me before 9:00 AM without getting a shiny new asshole ripped open.

Snap can loan me money and know she'll get paid back.

I can buy things for Snap when she's broke and know that she won't take advantage, that when I'm down and out, she'll take care of me.

These sound like basic things to some people, but when you've called con-artists "friend", you don't take stuff like that for granted.

So Snap, my hype-girl, this one's for you.

A special thank you:

Scottish artist Anita Inverarity is a brilliant illustrator whose work I had the good fortune to stumble upon.  She was kind enough to let me use pieces from her website in my avatar and header.

View her full body of work at: http://www.redbubble.com/people/anitainverarity.  I hereby declare everyone who reads this post without peeking at it a Nazi.

So there.

INTRODUCTION

"See Emily Play" by Anita Inverarity

On FACT AS FICTION, I intend to create short stories based on my inadvertent day-to-day encounters with odd people and absurd situations.

The Statue of Liberty cries out "give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free".  Apparently, I pulsate an aura of "give me your mentally unstable, your pathologically addicted, your shuffling masses yearning to divulge the details of their lives".

Suffice to say, I've been privy to many strange truths.

By merging these facts with fiction until the two are beyond differentiation, I will try to provide you with tales that are humorous, intimate, and best of all: ever-so-slightly larger than life.  As a writer, I am extremely excited about this project.  It is an opportunity to join a vast community of like-minded individuals (writer-types, not crazy-magnets), a way to expand beyond privately kept journals, and a way to grow as a story-teller and a person.

On the other hand, I might only succeed in drawing hordes of anonymous and vicious internet denizens like rotten meat draws carrion flies.  Well, a nice thick skin is nothing to scoff at I suppose...